You must have broken my heart a million times, 

Over and over again, 

And yet I yearn for you. 

Your touch, 

Your beauty, 

The love you keep close to you, 

Only allowing your family to see. 

I miss you, 

Even when you are close. 

It is the oddest feeling,

One that no human can truly comprehend, 

Regardless of the therapy and self-awareness they possess. 

It is pain and pleasure,

To love you and be loved by you. 

I hate waiting for you, 

Knowing that no communication may ever come, 

That I may wait forever. 

I have tried to leave you, 

To let you go, 

But you return so often, 

Not allowing me a safe distance. 

It can be years or days, 

But each time I see you it feels the same. 

Keeping my hands off you is impossible, 

improbable,

I mean have you ever looked in the mirror?